Issue 1670
commentatorballs "...Whether you're talking about all the survivors of Brian Epstein..."
JUDE KELLY, Radio 4

"He's got it in buckets and spades – I mean buckets"
SCOTT HASTINGS, ITV

"The Arsenal result tonight will have Man City rubbing their lips!"
CONOR COADY, Sky Sports

"GB have won five of their four matches"
STEVE CRAM, BBC1

"We wait for the 32-rider field to hear the green light"
OLI BECKINGSALE, TNT Sports

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Next issue on sale: 19th March 2026
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ALSO IN THIS ISSUE
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Private Eye Issue 1670
In This Issue
Prince of Darkness obviously a flight risk... Ian Maxwell writes: "Why has my family become a byword for international criminal evil?"... Epstein files forgotten for another week... Heir of Troubles – a romantic short story... Where's Fergie?... The monarchy's five-point plan for saving Allison Pearson... Chocolate thefts spiral out of control... Liza Minnelli's Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Industrial waste
More troubles at both Teesside and Drax

Born to fail
MD on maternity and the NHS

Unfair Lady
How the staff of the Lady magazine were stiffed

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Private Eye Issue 1669
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