St Theresa

Issue 1470
john-bercow.jpg Disturbing reports reach my desk about bullying and Mr Bercow.

There isn’t enough of it. I will not tolerate a lack of bullying of Mr Bercow, moderator of Debating Soc, who struts around the school in his academic gown as if he owns the place.

Frankly, he’s got a bit too big for his size 3 boots. To be honest, he can’t get his head through the Staff Room door and I would urge both pupils and staff alike to adopt his new nickname John Berk-Go! (I didn’t get this to start with, but Gavin 1 explained to me that it’s a witty suggestion that John is firstly a bit of a twit and that secondly he should give up his post and retire quietly to spend more time with his wife, if she’s still there.)

Or, if John doesn’t go, Gavin will unleash Cronos, the school spider, who is roughly the same size as Mr Berk-Go and almost as creepy (!), to frighten some sense into him.


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26th June 2018
In This Issue
Israel to Host Eurovision and WW3… It’s Time to Leave Song Contest as Unelected Euro-Judges Rob Britain Again… ‘Best Night Ever’ Says Everyone – Local Election Special… All Unworkable Options ‘Still on Table’ – Brexit Latest… Read The Joy of No Sex Bestseller – Hours of No Fun At All!... Shock Revelation as George Osborne Discovers He is Editor of the Evening Standard… Gwyneth Paltrow: The Sex Issue, as told to Craig Brown

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- Cliff Richard: Mystery of the BBC’s original source
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Private Eye Issue 1469