Issue 1484
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: “Despite the name, sea eagles are a “generalist” predator and scavenger capable of adapting to whatever food is available, be that fish, rabbit, mountain hare, toad, squid, octopus, seabirds, as well as lambs. How many healthy lambs sea eagles actually kill is a matter of great controversy. Although some nests re littered with the remains of lamb carcasses (and some pairs of sea eagles are thought to specialise in feeding lambs to their young), what proportion of lambs has actually been killed as opposed to merely scavenged is not clear...”
medicine balls
With M.D.: “The 890 says since the referendum have not been kind to the NHS, with growing delays in treatment and alarming staff shortages. There are 12,000 non-UK EU health and social care staff in Scotland and 60,000 such NHS staff in England. The question is not just whether they are allowed to stay – as Theresa May belatedly promised – but whether they want to, having been used as political pawns since June 2016...”
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: “Before last May’s timetable fiasco, various parties (Network Rail included) weren’t open about their true readiness to start the promised extra services. A franchisee not fully prepared for an imminent upgrade will keep quiet to try to avoid potential penalties for breach of contract. Candour would of course enable plans to be modified, reducing disruption to passengers; but franchisees first duty is t their shareholders...”
eye tv
With Remote Controller: “At ease in the role from the outset, Willoughby has stumbled only in adjusting to sexist media reporting on her legs, which, admittedly, some ITV camera angles seemed designed to encourage. Across the first eight episodes, her hem-lines progressively got longer, and neck-lines higher, until, on Sunday night, she was wearing trousers and a polo neck T-shirt. The web exploded with commentary about where her pins and cleavage had gone, which shows how hard it is for a TV woman to win in the wardrobe wars…”
[review of I’m a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!(ITV)]
music and musicians
With Lunchtime O’Boulez: “The Coventry and Warwickshire Youth Orchestra will soon be giving its Christmas concert in Coventry Cathedral; and it’s likely to be a more emotional affair than these seasonal affairs tend to be, because the orchestra has just been cast adrift by the Coventry and Warwickshire music hubs that provide its funding…”
in the city
With Slicker: “The bonus-powered culture that drove bankers, traders, financial advisers, lawyers and accountants was largely responsible for the global financial crisis. Ten years on, has that culture changed? Judging by the cover-ups at Lloyds over HBOS Reading and RBS over its Global Restructuring Group (Eyes passim), Danske Bank’s laundering of €200bn of mainly Russian dirty money, Santander and other banks’ involvement in a possible Europe-wide €30bn- €55bn dividend tax fraud, and Goldman Sachs’ assistance in the $2.7bn pillaging of Malaysia’s 1MDB sovereign wealth fund, the answer is No...”
eye world
Letter from Columbo
From Our Own Correspondent
: “While Rajapaska says he is now prime minister of Sri Lanka, Ranil Wickremesinghe, leader of the United National Party, says he is still prime minister. There have been ugly scenes in parliament as politicians punch each other and throw things about, including chilli water at the speaker’s security detail…”
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Next issue on sale: 11th December 2018
Private Eye Issue 1484
In This Issue
Lemming leadership crisis averted… Duchess Ding Dong! Yes, it’s Kate v. Meghan… Flu epidemic sweeps through Nurseryland community… A child’s guide to those online betting communities in full… Theresa May should stand up to Brussels bullies or we’ll get her… Let’s Parlez Franglais! President Macron et Les Riots… New Film: The Grinch who stole Brexmas

Deathly prose
CJ Sansom’s Tudor detective returns in hot-house bestseller

Lords back Lester
Old chums vote to overturn suspension

Under Nissan’s bonnet
The arrest of former chairman Ghosn

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11th December 2018
Private Eye Issue 1483