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Columnists
Issue 1379
agri brigade
With Bio-Waste Spreader: "Skylark numbers are down 2 percent this year (61% since 1970) but NFU indifference should surprise no one. The NFU may call themselves “Custodians of the Countryside” but farmers aren’t in business to conserve birds…”
medicine balls
With M.D.: "The NHS desperately needs good managers with the stability of secure jobs, not a merry-go-round of firing, compensating and then rehiring the same staff in new organisations that have lost the organisational memory of their predecessors…”
signal failures
With Dr B Ching: "Many rural bus services have vanished since the last general election. Cash-strapped councils are having to subsidise buses and cover a hefty shortfall of funds in the government’s free bus pass scheme. Wiltshire council’s bus subsidy, for instance, has fallen 27 percent since 2010, and more service cuts are due next year…”
eye tv
With Remote Controller: "The voice-over piously declared that the film-makers had only been permitted to interview those patients who were judged by psychiatrists competent to give their consent. But, as the big reveal in the opening episode involved the plot-twist that a key anecdote in the programme had been spoken by an interviewee who was in the grip of a delusion and therefore what he said was untrue, you wondered if ITV had used the same shrinks who approve highly strung slebs for inclusion in I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!…
[Review of Broadmoor, ITV]
keeping the lights on
With Old Sparky: "A cloud of disingenuous puff pieces is billowing out from Drax, owner of the UK’s largest power station, as it tries to avoid a tightening of the “sustainability” criteria for being subsidised to burn “biomass” instead of coal. But the biomass sources it plans to use can be far from sustainable – and it has been rumbled...”…”
nooks and corners
With Piloti: "On 15 October, Boris Johnson spoke at MIPIM, the annual cosy junket for property developers, money men, architects and the like, when he claimed that opposing foreigners buying up swathes of London that Londoners might live in was pure xenophobia. “I don’t want at all to expel any oligarchs from Planet Zog,” he reassured his audience...”
music and musicians
With Lunchtime O’Boulez: "Conspiracy theorists in classical music make a habit of persistence. Early last year Paul Kildea, an Australian musicologist now living in the UK, produced a biography of Benjamin Britten that was good, save for one engulfing problem. He had cobbled together a sensational story that Britten’s fatal heart condition had been a consequence of syphilis that was hushed up to avoid scandal…”
books and bookmen
With Bookworm: "The launch of hundreds of titles on Super Thursday last month was meant to stir things up. But latest sales figures suggest the market is stagnant, once-reliable genres are under-performing and with no sign of a book that could rescue Christmas, publishers and booksellers could be forgiven for starting to panic…”
in the city
With Slicker: "What appears to have happened comes from chapter one of the first edition of the “how to fiddle profits” playbook: pulling forward revenue while pushing back costs. And the SFO has been here before – twice. It was not a happy trip either time…”
Letter from Barcelona
From Our Own Correspondent: "
In Madrid the police have swooped to arrest more than 50 politicians and sidekicks, including the region’s former vice-president and six mayors. These can now be added to nearly 1,000 other cases before the courts around Spain where politicians are accused on various counts of corruption…”
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Next issue on sale:
25th November 2014.
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Private Eye Issue 1379
private eye Only In The Magazine

Sheikh fake exposed… The John Lewis Sick Bucket… US midterms: Obama vows to carry on getting nothing done… T-shirt Sweat Shop Scandal: A Nation Reacts… The Record Debt Memorial Mug… First World War Commemoration ‘Won’t be over by Xmas’ promises Cameron… The Six All-Time Greatest Conveniences In Art, as told to Craig Brown

And also...

- The Only Way Is Ethics: Questions remain over t-shirt supply chain audits.
- Supermarket Weep: Slicker on the pitfalls the Serious Fraud Office must avoid in pursuing Tesco.
- PLUS: What You Didn’t Miss – A Ted Hughes Bestiary
For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 25th November 2014.

Private Eye Issue 1378
gnitty