St Theresa

The Bursar Writes
Issue 1450
philip-hammond.jpg The Headmistress is currently on holiday and has been to Italy, Belgium and is now in Switzerland. In fact you might say she is all over the place – and not for the first time! So, now she’s out of the building…I just want to clarify that all of us on the staff are on the same page when it comes to the way we are going to leave the European Education Union – 

Mr Fox writes: NO WE’RE NOT! YOU DON’T SPEAK FOR US, SPREADSHEET PHIL!

The Bursar continues: There’s no need to shout, Mr Fox, what I meant was that, in broad terms, everyone in the staff room agrees that –

Mr Davis writes: NOT SO FAST, MR HAMFIST! YOU’RE TRYING TO PULL A FAST ONE WHILE EVERYONE’S ON THEIR HOLS.

The Bursar continues again: There’s no need to shout, Mr Davis, I simply mean that we are absolutely unanimous on one thing – the Headmistress is useless.

Mr Fox and Mr Davis write: YES, ABSOLUTELY, NO PROBLEM WITH THAT. SEE YOU IN SEPTEMBER!

The Bursar concludes: There we are, all on the same page, as I said.

PM: Sorry, PH!

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Private Eye Issue 1449