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St Theresa

The Headmistress Writes
Issue 1440
nicola-sturgeon.jpg The Shortcake Stall

The shortcake stall, run by Ms Nicola Krankie, is proving to be nearly as much trouble as the fruitcake stall, run by Mr Nutcase and Mr Farago. Honestly!

Having subsidised Ms Krankie’s attempts to sell her traditional half-baked confections and allowed her inside the school grounds to do so, you’d have thought she’d be a bit more grateful and not keep demanding we re-run the Debating Soc motion: This House believes that Ms Krankie should be running her own school. We’ve had this one already and you lost. What bit of it don’t you understand?

No one gains if you leave a larger organisation. Who are you going to trade with, Ms Krankie? Have you thought of that? Don’t expect us to make it easy for you. Why would we? We’re the larger entity and you’re wanting to leave us, so you’ll be at the back of the queue, when it comes to shortcake sales. Why, it’ll be like a divorce! 

Mrs T May (Headmistress)

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Private Eye Issue 1439