St Theresa

Issue 1468
amber-rudd.jpg Ms Rudd writes...

11am I know a lot of parents are concerned about the rising crime in the school corridors and playground, which is in no way linked to the massive reduction in prefects on patrol. I have a file of statistics which I believe will back me up, although it seems to have gone missing. If anyone inadvertently took it from my office, please leave it on my desk during the lunch break. My door will be open.

3pm Whoever has inadvertently taken my desk, will they please return it during the tea break. My door will be open.

5pm Whoever has inadvertently taken my door, will they please… (at this point, the Headmistress took control of the situation)

I’m sorry to say that Ms Rudd has not been doing as good a job as her predecessor, though of course she does have very difficult shoes to fill (leopard-skin). However, I would ask whichever pupil has taken Ms Rudd’s file not to return it to her, as the statistics prove the exact opposite of what she’s been saying.

Thank you.


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29th May 2018
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Private Eye Issue 1467