St Theresa

Mr Davis Writes...
Issue 1455
david-davies.jpg Wotcha! It’s me, back from Brussels, bursting with good news after another successful round of sandwiches. And the headline is: I’m very confident that I can deliver no deal at all. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. We’ve yet to finesse the details of the no-deal, but I reckon that we’re beginning not to understand each other and it’s just a question of undotting those ‘i’s and uncrossing those ‘t’s.

We’ve made substantial progress towards making no progress at all and it’s only a matter of time before we can both walk out, having achieved nothing at all.

I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I’m quietly optimistic that we will not be signing the no-deal bang on schedule. So, it’s no drinks all round! Hang on, might have to renegotiate that bit. Time for another round – of drinks, this time. Cheers!

DD

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Next issue on sale: 28th November 2017.
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In This Issue private eye
Guy Shapps Parliamentary Plot Foiled – Daily Treasonograph Exclusive… Theresa May Refuses to Say if She Would Vote for Herself… Cheer up Phil, Say All Tory Papers… Ted ‘Sailor’ Heath Definitely Guilty of Pedalo Activity, Insists Knacker… Row as NHS Tells GPs to Ask Patients if they Are Ill.. Mary Berry’s Household Tips, as told to Craig Brown

And also...

- Weinstein stains: The Street of Shame at its very worst
- The Devil’s work:
The evangelicals braying for Brexit
- Shia hell:
Iran really doesn’t like the BBC’s Persian Service

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Private Eye Issue 1454