The Totally Secure Prime Minister’s WhatsApp Group
Members Only, Issue 1635
Members Only, Issue 1635
Right, Sue's gone. So, who's in charge now?
Morgan McSweeney
You are, boss. Everyone knows who's Prime Minister.
You are, boss. Everyone knows who's Prime Minister.
Darren Jones
Except Keir at PMQs! Who seems to think it's still Rishi Sunak.
Except Keir at PMQs! Who seems to think it's still Rishi Sunak.
That was a slip of the tongue.
Darren Jones
Like when you said 'sausage' instead of 'hostage'?
Like when you said 'sausage' instead of 'hostage'?
Angela Rayner
Or like when you said we won't put National Insurance up when we bloody well will?
Or like when you said we won't put National Insurance up when we bloody well will?
No. I put it to you, that technically the wording in the manifesto is legally foolproof and did not commit us to a non-increase in the employer as opposed to the employee contribution.
Angela Rayner
You're a bare-face lawyer, Keir!
You're a bare-face lawyer, Keir!
Thank you very much. No further questions.
Pat McFadden
So, we're going to put it up?
So, we're going to put it up?
I said no further questions! Strike it from the record! Case dismissed!
Darren Jones
Objection!
Objection!
Objection overruled.
Rachel Reeves
We are going to put National Insurance up. If you read the very small print of the manifesto on page 7,442, it's perfectly clear.
We are going to put National Insurance up. If you read the very small print of the manifesto on page 7,442, it's perfectly clear.
Ed Miliband
It is if you've got new glasses from Lord Alli! Just saying. Not being disloyal.
It is if you've got new glasses from Lord Alli! Just saying. Not being disloyal.
Rachel Reeves
But, as we promised, the increase is not for working people, it's only for employers.
But, as we promised, the increase is not for working people, it's only for employers.
Jonathan Reynolds
Can I point out, as Business Secretary, that employers are also working people?
Can I point out, as Business Secretary, that employers are also working people?
Angela Rayner
No, they're not, they're Tory Scum!
No, they're not, they're Tory Scum!
Except Lord Alli, obviously.
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Next issue on sale: 4th December 2024
Next issue on sale: 4th December 2024
