People's Prime Minister's Reshuffled Question Time
Live on Fakebook, Issue 1516
PM's Questions
So, hello, people’s voters!

This is the Prime Minister here, the Bozman – or should I say the Bossman?! – speaking from a new-look, fresh-start People’s Cabinet, which is 175% better than the old Cabinet, which was still 230% better than Theresa May’s Cabinet. Simple statistics that never lie.

Now, some of you may be wondering why I appointed the people I just sacked in the first place, given that they’ve only been in the job for a couple of months. Well, being with me for a couple of months is pretty good going. Ask any of my exes! Or rather don’t. Anyway, it doesn’t matter who is in charge of what, since I’m in charge of everything. Job titles are more or less arbitrary. So, goodbye to the Saj as Chancellor and hello to the Rish or the Very Rish, as I call him, as Supply Chancellor!

Very Rish will be telling everyone in the Treasury to sit quietly and read a book they’ve brought in from home while Dom gets on with the budget. It’s important to appoint minorities to top jobs, which is why I’ve appointed Rish, from the minority Billionaire Banking community. The Saj had to go because he got his knickers in a twist about Fiscal Rules and trying to stop me spaffing the entire budget on vanity projects. As “The Sacked”(!) should have known, I don’t obey the rules about anything and when it comes to massive spending, I’m all for it, particularly when it’s someone else’s money, be it large infrastructure projects or a holiday in Mustique…

To read more from Prime Minister's Questions in full, buy the latest edition of Private Eye - you can subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale: 3rd March 2020
Private Eye Issue 1516
In This Issue
‘It’s what Caroline would have wanted’ – ITV keeps Love Island on air after consulting widely with its accountants… Latest Royal Couple to split as Lion and Unicorn go separate ways… Gay man comes out as presenter on morning TV… China says coronavirus source is now dead so can no longer infect anyone with dangerous facts… Chinese emperor offers to help rebuild Rome in a day… Shock as supervillain Dominic Evil appoints evil Mini-Me as his special adviser… John Bercow’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Bar humbug!
Brave Suella’s rise to the top

Diamond geezer
Tory treasurer’s associate in court

HS2 Special
Trebles all round for the suits

Read these stories and much more - only in the magazine. Subscribe here to get delivery direct to your home and never miss an issue!
ONLY £2.00
3rd March 2020
Private Eye Issue 1515