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Tikka back control…
Immigration, Issue 1505
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CHANGING THE RULES: Home secretary Priti Patel’s new ‘vindaloo visa’ aims to help save the nation’s curry houses
A FAIRLY standard change to the Immigration Rules received more coverage than usual last week when home secretary Priti Patel announced the introduction of “vindaloo visas” to save the nation’s curry houses, which are said to be closing at a rate of two per week.

Restaurants which provide takeaway service will be allowed to recruit non-EEA (European Economic Area) chefs under a Tier 2 visa from 6 October, 25 days before the all-important Brexit Day. Chefs join architects, engineers and nurses on the shortage occupation list.

The plight of Indian restaurants has long been a concern for Patel. In May 2016, while she was employment minister and a Vote Leave campaigner, she said that “uncontrolled immigration from the EU has led to tougher controls on migrants from the rest of the world. This means that we cannot bring in the talents and the skills we need to support our economy. By voting to leave we can take back control of our immigration policies, save our curry houses and join the rest of the world.” In fact the restrictions on curry chefs were brought in by the Conservatives in 2011: quite where the lost “control” of immigration policies went between 2011 and 2016 was not explained.

‘Poppadom with’ Pickles
Now, despite not having left the EU yet, Patel has somehow found enough control to change the rules after all. This will hopefully, er, curry favour with disgruntled restaurant bosses who in 2017, a year after the Brexit vote, said they felt “betrayed” that ministers still hadn’t done anything.

Back then, immigration minister Robert Goodwill suggested the staff shortage could be dealt with by training curry chefs in Britain. He forgot that this had already been tried in the Cameron era, when Eric “Poppadom with” Pickles spent £1.75m creating 70 apprenticeships at “curry colleges”. Only 16 people actually signed up.

More top stories in the latest issue:

NO-DEALER’S CHOICE
The early suspension of parliament meant 13 bills fell, including some key pieces of legislation needed to keep Britain running post-Brexit.

NOT-SO-SECRET ARMY
Contingency plans for the army to take over local government posts in a no deal Brexit are confirmed to the Eye by navy and air force officers too.

CASHING OUT
Much vital ‘thinking and shaping’ on Brexit has by-passed Whitehall and been farmed out to self-interested management consultants, MPs report.

ROBBINS’ NEST EGGS
How Oliver Robbins, the government’s top Brexit negotiator for three years, will soon be helping Goldman Sachs profit from Brexit Britain.

HIGH-SPEED RAILROADING
It’s not just the building giants who want to keep the £80bn HS2 gravy train on track: George Osborne and his chums at BlackRock are keen too.

CRUSADER’S CASTLE
‘Talk to people outside London who aren’t rich Remainers,’ hacks are urged by Dominic Cummings – part owner of a farm and son-in-law of a castle owner!

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Private Eye Issue 1505
In This Issue
Record Number of Migrants Cross Channel to Flee Chaotic Nation on Brink of Dictatorship… Internet ‘Too Slow’ to Keep Up With UK Brexit News… Emily Thornberry’s Cut-Out-’N’-Keep Guide to Labour’s Brexit Plan… Lib Dems ‘a Proper Political Party’ Now They’re Split On Revoking Article 50 Without a Referendum… Joyful Middle East Women Mark Launch of ‘The Testaments’ in All-Black Versions of the Handmaid’s Costume… ‘Why Won’t Ghastly, Callous Meghan Let Me Meet Baby Archie?’ Asks Thomas Markle… Liz Jones: My Cultural Highlights, as told to Craig Brown

After Bercow
Battle for the speaker’s chair

‘No deal’ army
The navy and RAF are on call too!

Borismania?
The PM’s many female Facebook fans

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