Sir,
I see you’re threatening to wind up the Pseudo Names correspondence yet again. Go on then – see if we care.
F. OFF D. LOTTAYA.

Sir,
Try as you might to end it, the fact is that the Pseudo Names correspondence cat is well and truly out of the bag. The question now, though, is who is responsible for releasing the canines in an attempt to catch it – who? Who? Who? WHO?
HEWLETT D. DOGSOUT.

Sir,
Tragedy!
HARRY STOPHANEES
SAUL GREEKTUMMY.

Sir,
They’ll haunt you forever.
HECTOR PLAZUM.

Sir,
This feature is now so clapped-out that you must surely have an ulterior motive for keeping it going.
Q.E. BONO.

Sir,
There is a proposal to terminate Pseudo Names, prematurely in my view, which is no doubt a “cost-cutting” exercise. As much work remains to be achieved in this field, I urge interested parties to submit as many examples of the genre as possible.
ARTHUR N.E. MOORE.

Sir,
Here in South Korea, it is beyond us why people continue endlessly to send in letters, signing them with what are clearly made-up names.
Y. KI PON.

Sir,
Far from ending, surely this feature heralds a new Age of Aquarius.
WENDY MOON
S.N. DE SAVANT-HOUSE
ANNE JUPITER
ELAINE SWIFT-MARRS.

Sir,
Please do not stop this wonderful column. We are sailing to China and in the long hours we entertain ourselves by re-reading your lovely magazine and especially Pseudo Names. Do continue.
HONOR SLOH-BOHT.

Sir,
As a Frenchman recently made redundant, I find myself with time to indulge in pointless past-times.
GUY ZAJOB.

Sir,
Surely Tony Blair cannot be President of the EU as he already has a job.
EUAN ENVOY.
(Cameron McPhail)

Sir,
We are sure our fellow Athenian, the comic playwright Harry Stophanes, will have seen the funny side of appearing under the tag “Tragedy!” in Eye 1248 (see above). For us tragedians, however, it is no laughing matter. This fatal flaw smacks of what Hugh Briss would call pride before a fall and shows that Pseudo Names is despised by the gods, rejected by mortal man and doomed to die a dreadful death!
E. SKI-LOOSE,
SOPHIE CLEESE,
YURI. P. DEES.
(Richard Thurlow)

Sir,
Please keep Pseudo Names going. While not everyone’s cup of tea, it’s music to my ears.
DRUMMOND BASE.
(Adrian Robinson)

Sir,
The end of Pseudo Names? Yeah right!!
PAUL D. UTHERWUN.
(Alan Naismith)

Sir,
I love your Pseudo Names column: you’ve brought your humour down to my level.
MARIANA TRENCH.
(Brian Clifford)

Sir,
Goodbye... and bless.
BEN E. DICTION
VAL E. DICTION.
(John Smith)