HORSE’S MOUTH
MPs give Channel 4 chief exec David Abraham a right hoofing for the pisspoor ratings achieved by his expanded horse-racing coverage.

BALE-FUL PROMOTION
BT Sport signs up Gareth Bale to plug its footie coverage… but forgets he plays in Spain’s La Liga, whose TV rights are held by arch rival Sky Sports.

COCK & BULL
Pizza brand DiGiorno questions the wisdom of inviting punters to design a drag and drop pizza online as most look like, well, cocks and balls.

TWIT IN THE MACHINE
While WPP’s Martin Sorrell bigs up advertising algorithms, radiotimes.com has an awkward brush with automatically generated ads for Russian lovelies who want to ‘FLIRT NOW!’

PLUS: Desperate Marketing, Dumb Britain, Birtspeak 2.0 & more.

Lady Macbeth Cleared On All Charges… 24-Hour Rolling Paedo News… Putting the Hate Into Caliphate: A Message From Your New Caliph… ‘Great Summer of War’ Gets Underway… That Sensational Text From David Cameron to Rebekah Brooks… Theatre News: ‘12 Stupid People’ Courtroom Drama Finally Closes… My Favourite Monty Python Sketch, as told to Craig Brown

And also...

- What Rebekah Did: Six-page special report by the Eye’s man in court, Adam Macqueen
- Extra Dry Sharia: The Law Society’s fight against discrimination is… discriminatory
- PLUS: Extra cartoons, Summer Gnomemart & more – still only £1.50!
For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 22nd July 2014.