I just wanted to say that, when it comes to choosing the next Headmaster, it’s got to be supply teacher Mr Miliband who I am 110 percent behind. No. Honestly.
I have in my possession a secret dossier which proves absolutely that if the current Headmaster, Mr Cameron, is allowed to continue, then the school will descend into absolute chaos.
His views on CoAc’s role in the wider European educational framework are little short of mad. And, believe me, I am an expert.
Look, I know people will say I’m sexing up the case and there’s no evidence of CoAc’s mass destruction, but you’ll just have to trust me.
As my old spokesman Mr Campbell would have said, “Listen, fuckwit, just write down what I’m fucking saying or fuck off.”