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A Message From The Headmaster
Issue 1364
sajid javid.jpg
Mr Javid (I think)
SALVE

Welcome to our new Head of Cultural Studies, Mr Javid. Some parents may not recognise that name and I sympathise with that, because until yesterday nor did I. But that’s a good thing, because it means he hasn’t done anything wrong yet.

I’m pretty sure he wasn’t at Eton because he would have stood out for the obvious reasons – for the fact that his father was a bus driver. So, while it’s terminal for Maria, it’s welcome aboard to Sajid – ding ding! I’m also informed that Mr Javid is a man who’s going places and he has his eyes firmly on the Headmaster’s job. Well, sorry, Sajid, I’m not giving up my seat to anyone and there’s no room on top. Off you get! Just kidding, Sajid.

D.C.

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Next issue on sale:
29th April 2014.
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Private Eye Issue 1364
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And also...

- NHS smear test: M.D. on the cover-ups that go right to the top.
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For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 29th April 2014.

Private Eye Issue 1363
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