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new coalition academy
A Message From The Headmaster
Issue 1382
dave.jpg I do hope the drone has delivered this newsletter to your door. If it hasn’t, I can only apologise – not that you’ll be able to accept the apology, as you won’t be reading it. Sorry if that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I’ve already started chillaxing with a rather tasty glass of Veuve Cliquey!

Sam and I are spending the Christmas holiday in the country. And for once the country is Britain, not Portugal. Bit of a shame, but we’ll make the most of it. After all, it’s the first time we’ve put our feet up for simply days. We’ll be recharging our batteries after another exhausting but rewarding year at the helm of the most successful school in the world, if not Europe. Mmm, another glass? Don’t mind if I do – cheers!

Yes, we’re having a traditional Christmas in the Cotswolds and doing all the normal things, such as not getting together with old friends, like Mrs Brooks – who isn’t an old friend in any case, so why would I want to get together with her and ride her horse? The very idea just makes me LOL – or is it LOL? I never remember. You know what I mean, even if I don’t.

D.C.

To read more letters from the Headmaster (and of course, the Deputy Head), please buy the latest edition of Private Eye - or subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale:
2nd January 2015.
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Private Eye Issue 1382
private eye Only In The Magazine

Sir Oswald Mosley explains offensive remarks… BBC Theme Park to feature ‘Executive Land’… That leaked James Bond movie script – redacted version (not in full)… Garglebox… BBC Thatcher Murder Outrage Causes House Prices to Plummet… George W Bush ‘denies knowledge’… Russell Brand’s Christmas Revolution, as told to Craig Brown

And also...

- Gnome’s Festive Giftmart: Everything you never knew you needed.
- Log Rolling Special: Books of the Year 2014.
- PLUS: Bumper £250 Prize Crossword
For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 2nd January 2015.

Private Eye Issue 1381
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