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new coalition academy
A Message From The Headmaster
Issue 1373
dave.jpg Olé! (That’s Portuguese for “Don’t panic everyone, I’m back”!)

The business of a successful Academy never stops and just because it’s a long summer holiday doesn’t mean that I, as Headmaster, have taken a long summer holiday. No, I checked out of my hotel an entire day early, once I became aware of the tragic loss of life going on elsewhere in the world. I simply had to dash back to prepare a tweet about Robin Williams and Lauren Bacall, trying to get them down to 140 characters.

I’m actually surprised that anything’s gone wrong while I was away, because I took the precaution of timing my holiday carefully to coincide with when Nick was away as well – so he wasn’t here to mess everything up! Far safer to leave everything in the capable hands of no one.

Since coming back, I’ve heard of wider problems which may require a special outward-bound trip to Iraq for the recently disbanded CCF. I gather parents think I should be calling all the staff back from holiday as well for a special meeting, but you may recall that I did something similar last year, in order to discuss problems at the Assad Chemical Academy in Syria, which ended up with a lot of people disagreeing with me, so you see these meetings aren’t always worth having!

D.C.

To read more letters from the Headmaster (and of course, the Deputy Head), please buy the latest edition of Private Eye - or subscribe here and have the magazine delivered to your home every fortnight.

Next issue on sale:
2nd September 2014.
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And also...

- Stat attack: BBC’s statistics expert forced to backtrack over Gaza casualty statistics
- SuicideWatch: Editor’s code torn up as papers report the death of Robin Williams
- Doom & loom: From harmless craze to cancer warnings: how the Mail went potty
For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 2nd September 2014.

Private Eye Issue 1372
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