St Theresa

Good Christmas Afternoon
Issue 1486
st theresa.jpg As a vicar’s daughter, I can tell you that Christmas is the perfect time of year to bring glad tidings and so that’s what I’m going to do. And the tidings are… Yes, I am still here! There may not be angelic trumpets in the background, nor the whole host of Heaven and Earth singing praises, but it is still Good News!

Some members of staff may find these tidings sad. And they won’t bring great joy to some of my more bitter, jealous and disloyal colleagues. But along with the glad tidings, there are other informative tidings that I must share with you.

I have agreed to a final date for leaving the Headmistress’s office. I will definitely leave before 2022, which is the fixed term for me being in charge…

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Next issue on sale: 22nd January 2019
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Private Eye Issue 1486
In This Issue
Christmas Can Be Cancelled Really Easily If It’s All Too Much Bother, Says Legal Advice… Baby It’s Cold Outside So I’ve Called You An Uber – Christmas Classics Updated for Millennials… Leader of European Research Group Should Resign, Insists Jacob Rees-Mogg… Nurseryland Prepares to Crash Out of Single This-Little-Piggy-Goes-To Market in 2019… Iain Duncan Scrooge, the Duchess of Scrooge and Mrs Theresa Scrooge – It’s ‘A Revised Christmas Carol … Top Cyclist Jeremy Corbyn Wins Sparts Personality of the Year… Climate Change Doesn’t Exist. Fact. But Santa Does – Trump Latest…

Xmas Giftmart
Cracking gift ideas from Lord Gnome

Duchess diary
Meghan opens her heart to Craig Brown

Festive fun
Cartoons galore, plus a £250 prize crossword

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Private Eye Issue 1485