Issue 1491
commentatorballs “If he, Pogba, starts to open up his legs, then Palace are going to see a problem”
BEN THORNLEY
MUTV

“Liverpool attacking the Klopp end”
DARREN FLETCHER
BT Sport

“It’s just like the Derby – you have to get over the first fences”
SHAUN MURPHY
Quest TV

“You don’t fight fire with fire – you fight water with fire”
BARRY WILKINSON
TalkSport

“Some of them did need a shoulder around their arm”
ANDY MITTEN
Radio 5 Live

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Private Eye Issue 1491
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MayMay Goes Viral and Encourages Country to Self-Harm… Labour Apologises for Apology for Apologising Too Much Over Anti-Semitism Claims… Meghan to Have Transgender Baby – Royal Exclusive… Rees-Mogg at the Palladium – All the Best Jokes from Britain’s Leading Sit-Down Comedian… ‘You Can Trust Me With Chlorinated Chickens’ Says Fantastic Mr Fox… The Future of Television Is In The Past – BritBox Launch Exclusive... Karl Lagerfeld 1933-2019, as told to Craig Brown

Dear oh dear
The cost of Chris Grayling

Mott MacMafia
Dial M …for Mafia!

Coughing up
The Tories’ latest exotic donors

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Private Eye Issue 1490