Mr Williamson has announced exciting new plans for the CCF. He wants Atkins T to dominate the world, with his swarm of drones (one), and by weaponising Mr Grayling’s old ferry (none).

Mr Williamson, in a keynote speech to his shaving mirror, warned the Beijing Bang-Bang Military Academy that, with his hi-tech drone from Maplin’s (made in China by Huawei) and the reregistered HMS Invisible (formerly ‘Pride of Ramsgate’), they’d better watch out or else. He added: “No one’s laughing at the CCF now.”

Late News

The meeting between Mr Fox and representatives of the Beijing Bang Bang Military Academy to talk about the mutual interests of our two schools have been cancelled, as a result of Mr Williamson’s speech.

TM