Issue 1483
commentatorballs “He’s moving a bit sheeplessly at the moment”
PAUL MERSON
Sky Sports

“It doesn’t matter how big your tackle is, you’ve got to be able to roll away”
PAUL GRAYSON
Radio 5 Live

“Without my mum I probably wouldn’t be where I am today”
ROSS BARKLEY
BBC1

“We can have this debate until we are blue in the teeth”
CHRIS BODEN
BBC Radio Lancashire

“Gomez and Van Dijk, they’re three of the top five”
RIO FERDINAND
BT Sport

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Private Eye Issue 1483
In This Issue
Let’s Parlez Franglais: Armistice Jour: Le 100th Anniversaire… US Midterm Elections – Huge Win for No One… Brexiteers Heed Roughly 52% of Jo Johnson’s Words… Outrage as Minister Resigns on Principle… Roald Dahl’s Classic Stories: No 94 Fantastic Mr Führer… ‘I’ll Be Charming When I’m King’ Says Prince Charmless… Kenneth Rose’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Isles of Arron
Slicker enters the Banks corporate maze

Paul v Al
The great Dacre v Rusbridger spat rolls on

Empire games
MoD’s about-turn on Commonwealth recruits

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Private Eye Issue 1482