number crunching
Issue 1484

3 - Percentage of cost of unusable water cannon bought by Boris Johnson as London mayor which was recovered by selling them for scrap this month

3 - Number of corporate speeches Johnson would have to give to pay back the £311,000 loss himself (or just over a year of Telegraph columns)
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Private Eye Issue 1484
In This Issue
Lemming leadership crisis averted… Duchess Ding Dong! Yes, it’s Kate v. Meghan… Flu epidemic sweeps through Nurseryland community… A child’s guide to those online betting communities in full… Theresa May should stand up to Brussels bullies or we’ll get her… Let’s Parlez Franglais! President Macron et Les Riots… New Film: The Grinch who stole Brexmas

Deathly prose
CJ Sansom’s Tudor detective returns in hot-house bestseller

Lords back Lester
Old chums vote to overturn suspension

Under Nissan’s bonnet
The arrest of former chairman Ghosn

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Private Eye Issue 1483