St Theresa

The Headmistress Writes
Issue 1473
st theresa.jpg

The Sanatorium
All together now, “Happy birthday, dear Sanatorium…” Yes, the San is 70 years old, much like most of the equipment. To mark the occasion, I’m going to give the Sanatorium an extra £20 billion a year. It’s all rather complicated, so I’m going to leave it to the Bursar to explain.

The Bursar Writes...
WHAT???? What are you talking about, woman? We haven’t got any money! There is no magic money tree! There’s not even a magic money shrub!! Or a magic money pot plant!!! Or a magic money bean!!!! There’s nothing. Just an enormous black hole. And no, I can’t plant a magic money tree in it! There’s only one thing for it, I’ll have to fleece the parents for even more money. But I promised I wouldn’t. Oh my God, I feel terrible. I’ve got palpitations, sweats... If only there was a decent Sanatorium to go to. Aaaaaaargh!!!!

The Headmistress Writes Again...
Thanks to the Bursar for clearing all that up. And may that serve as a reminder to Mr Williamson, who is in charge of the CCF (Atkins, T, Reserve, Friday afternoons only), that there is no magic money tree and we cannot just give the CCF £20 billion as if it was the Sanatorium!...

TM.

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Private Eye Issue 1472