Issue 1483
commentatorballs “Gomez and Van Dijk, they’re three of the top five”
RIO FERDINAND
BT Sport

“He’s moving a bit sheeplessly at the moment”
PAUL MERSON
Sky Sports

“It doesn’t matter how big your tackle is, you’ve got to be able to roll away”
PAUL GRAYSON
Radio 5 Live

“Without my mum I probably wouldn’t be where I am today”
ROSS BARKLEY
BBC1

“We can have this debate until we are blue in the teeth”
CHRIS BODEN
BBC Radio Lancashire

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Private Eye Issue 1483
In This Issue
Let’s Parlez Franglais: Armistice Jour: Le 100th Anniversaire… US Midterm Elections – Huge Win for No One… Brexiteers Heed Roughly 52% of Jo Johnson’s Words… Outrage as Minister Resigns on Principle… Roald Dahl’s Classic Stories: No 94 Fantastic Mr Führer… ‘I’ll Be Charming When I’m King’ Says Prince Charmless… Kenneth Rose’s Diary, as told to Craig Brown

Isles of Arron
Slicker enters the Banks corporate maze

Paul v Al
The great Dacre v Rusbridger spat rolls on

Empire games
MoD’s about-turn on Commonwealth recruits

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Private Eye Issue 1482