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Beware Geeks Boring Gits
Read by Lewis Macleod
Private Eye Issue 1292
8th July 2011
Audio - 00:48 mins
An Evening With Private Eye
Video - 59:59
Private Eye: A Cartoon History
Video - 00:30
Private Eye Investigates
Video - 07:17
Vodafone’s Swiss Swizz
Video - 08:39
Watching Ink Dry
Audio - 07:45
Inside Private Eye
Slideshow - 03:49
Election coverage
Audio - 06:01
Ian Hislop on Radio 4
Audio - 27:37
It’s all in your Currant Bung…
Audio - 01:08
Eyeplayer Archives
From The Daily Chain Mail…
10th February 2012
Audio - 01:25
Tweedle Brothers Latest…
10th February 2012
Audio - 00:59
Rolling Drivel 24 Hours A Day…
10th February 2012
Audio - 00:55
A Special Offer To Eye Readers…
10th February 2012
Audio - 00:45
Will It Be Och Aye Or The Noo?
10th February 2012
Audio - 00:43
Why Boris Island Is A Corker!
25th January 2012
Audio - 01:30
Rats Make Shock Claim…
25th January 2012
Audio - 01:00
The Iron Laddy And Bore Horse Reviewed
25th January 2012
Audio - 02:23
Woof! Woof! Celebrity Interview Special
25th January 2012
Audio - 02:03
He’s Got His Readers Rattled!
25th January 2012
Audio - 01:15
Non-stop Drivel, 24/7…
25th January 2012
Audio - 00:48
Cut-price Honours For Sale!
10th January 2012
Audio - 01:07
The Rev Blair Counts His Blessings (but Not His Earnings)
10th January 2012
Audio - 00:56
A Hotbed Of Gun-toting Religious Extremists…
10th January 2012
Audio - 00:29
Charles Moore On The Collapse Of The Euro…
10th January 2012
Audio - 01:17
Wendi And Lupert On Twitter…
10th January 2012
Audio - 03:08
Rolling Satire 24 Hours A Day…
10th January 2012
Audio - 00:39
Why Are You Feeling My Breasts?
10th January 2012
Audio - 00:41
Get An Arse Like Kate’s Sister’s...
23rd December 2011
Audio - 00:34
Smoke And Feel Sporty Too!
23rd December 2011
Audio - 00:40
This Year’s Must-have Toy...
23rd December 2011
Audio - 00:32
Jesus Christ! It’s The Gnome Christmas Giftmart...
23rd December 2011
Audio - 00:25
See Yourself On TV!
23rd December 2011
Audio - 00:34
Break The Speed Limit With The Lib Dems!
23rd December 2011
Audio - 00:26
Relive The Magic Of Arthurian Legend...
23rd December 2011
Audio - 00:36
Not Suitable For Vegetarians
23rd December 2011
Audio - 00:28
Rolling Satire 24 Hours A Day…
23rd December 2011
Audio - 00:42
Message From Mr Clegg, Deputy Head
9th December 2011
Audio - 02:35
The Page You Can Read 24 Hours A Day
9th December 2011
Audio - 00:42
George ‘heavily Indebted’ To Gordon
9th December 2011
Audio - 00:38
Why Leveson Makes Me Livid…
9th December 2011
Audio - 01:14
A Bad Case Of Gas-guzzling…
22nd November 2011
Audio - 00:55
Cripes! The Streets Are Paved With Women…
22nd November 2011
Audio - 01:40
UK ‘cancelled’ Due To Wrong Type Of Deal…
22nd November 2011
Audio - 00:58
Rolling Drivel, 24 Hours A Day…
22nd November 2011
Audio - 00:45
Why We Need Trident Subs In The Thames…
22nd November 2011
Audio - 00:56
The Don Sings Nessun Reforma…
22nd November 2011
Audio - 01:15
Why The Duke Is A Complete Waste Of Money
22nd November 2011
Audio - 00:25
Let Us Bray…
28th October 2011
Audio - 02:30
Gruesome Images From The Circulation War
28th October 2011
Audio - 01:00
Execution Guidelines At Point Blank Rangel
28th October 2011
Audio - 00:38
That Legova-Halfcock Trial In Full…
28th October 2011
Audio - 01:10
Werritty, Oh Werritty…
28th October 2011
Audio - 01:26
Why MPs Need To Be Whipped…
28th October 2011
Audio - 00:47
‘Cameron Silent On Westlife Split – More Soon’
28th October 2011
Audio - 00:44
Latest From Strictly Come Off It!
14th October 2011
Audio - 00:56
Heather Who?
14th October 2011
Audio - 00:47
You Read It In The Daily Mail
14th October 2011
Audio - 01:06
Those Corporation Cuts In Full
14th October 2011
Audio - 00:50
Why We Need A Leader Who Appeals To Women
14th October 2011
Audio - 01:10
Just Stop Pussy-footing Around
14th October 2011
Audio - 01:01
‘Recession Could Trigger A Recession’
14th October 2011
Audio - 01:39
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
30th September 2011
Audio - 01:45
Bunga-bunga With Borisconi
30th September 2011
Audio - 01:22
The Traveller’s Tale That Just Won’t Budge
30th September 2011
Audio - 00:52
On The Barricades At Dale Farm
30th September 2011
Audio - 01:11
‘I’m Booked!’ Says Top Cop
30th September 2011
Audio - 01:22
‘It’s A Disaster,’ Says Rupert Murdoch
30th September 2011
Audio - 00:48
Debate Live With Indy Owner Lebedev
30th September 2011
Audio - 01:07
Tony Blair IS George Very-Smiley
16th September 2011
Audio - 00:51
Time Allowed, 2 Hours
16th September 2011
Audio - 00:32
Gove Term Begins Today
16th September 2011
Audio - 01:11
Why I Won’t Be Watching Strictly Come Dancing
16th September 2011
Audio - 01:20
Godfather Tony At The Murdoch Baptism
16th September 2011
Audio - 01:50
Inspector Barnaby & The Chipping Norton Set
16th September 2011
Audio - 00:49
Rolling Drivel, 24 Hours A Day
16th September 2011
Audio - 00:54
Live Now To Tripoli...
7th September 2011
Audio - 03:12
Fruity Girls Head For Mail Via Clearing
7th September 2011
Audio - 01:28
Discipline Begins In The Nursery
7th September 2011
Audio - 01:03
Performed By The NY Met Police, Er, Opera
7th September 2011
Audio - 00:51
Regime Totters, Says Tunis Times
20th August 2011
Audio - 00:30
Top Figures (and Prezza) Speak Out
20th August 2011
Audio - 02:24
Rupert Murdoch Faces A Hostile Board
20th August 2011
Audio - 03:23
Vote Bozza, Friend Of The Rozzer
20th August 2011
Audio - 01:23
Dave Spart Fans The Flames
20th August 2011
Audio - 01:20
Top Cops Slam MPs' Tactics
20th August 2011
Audio - 01:09
A Message From The Dirty Digger
22nd July 2011
Audio - 00:53
Another Message From The Dirty Digger
22nd July 2011
Audio - 00:53
168 Years Of Filth
22nd July 2011
Audio - 01:21
Dame Sylvie Krin On Lupert And Wendi
22nd July 2011
Audio - 02:00
Bozza On Those Rotten Rozzers
22nd July 2011
Audio - 01:10
Harry Potter And The Cash Cow Of Doom
22nd July 2011
Audio - 00:45
Baby Beckham’s Stupid Bloody Name
22nd July 2011
Audio - 00:47
More From Our Olympic Staff, Phil Corporate-Box
8th July 2011
Audio - 01:16
Beware Geeks Boring Gits
8th July 2011
Audio - 00:48
Meddling Latest From Clarence House
8th July 2011
Audio - 01:45
The Man On The Clapham Omnibuggy
8th July 2011
Audio - 01:12
Exclusive! The Labour Leader Talks To The Eye
8th July 2011
Audio - 01:40
London Mayor Gets The PM All Steamed Up
8th July 2011
Audio - 00:54
Health Secretary Andrew Lansley At The Terminal Stage
24th June 2011
Audio - 00:52
Your TV Tonight
24th June 2011
Audio - 00:52
Fred The Shred Falls In Love With (name Withheld)
24th June 2011
Audio - 00:44
Rolling Drivel, 24 Hours A Day
24th June 2011
Audio - 00:33
Latest News From The General Synod
24th June 2011
Audio - 00:54
Tories Abandon Weekly Rubbish Policy
24th June 2011
Audio - 00:35
Real Commentators, Real Comments, Real Balls
24th June 2011
Audio - 01:05
That Get The F*** To Sleep Book
24th June 2011
Audio - 01:14
Eye Exclusive By Sir William Rees-McGonagall
24th June 2011
Audio - 02:10
Listen With BoJo, The Mayor Of London
24th June 2011
Audio - 00:57
Will Killer Cucumbers Cause House Price Collapse?
10th June 2011
Audio - 01:09
A Message From Lord Gnome
10th June 2011
Audio - 01:13
It’s A Fifa-all!
10th June 2011
Audio - 01:36
Why The London Mayor Is For The High Jump
10th June 2011
Audio - 00:31
Rolling Satire… More Soon
10th June 2011
Audio - 00:36
Clever-clogs Toddlers Make Me Puke
10th June 2011
Audio - 01:10
New Outrage Over The ‘N’ Word
10th June 2011
Audio - 00:47
The Latest From Hay-on-Wye-oh-Why
10th June 2011
Audio - 00:48
School Notices From Deputy Head Mr Clegg
10th June 2011
Audio - 01:47
Rolling Satire, 24 Hours A Day
26th May 2011
Audio - 00:49
That Obama State Procession In Full
26th May 2011
Audio - 00:58
Working Towards A Future In Downing Street
26th May 2011
Audio - 01:41
MP Comes Out As A Criminal
26th May 2011
Audio - 00:52
Mary Portas, Woman Off The Telly
26th May 2011
Audio - 00:38
Mystery Dwarf Named On Twitter
26th May 2011
Audio - 01:02
Paternity Leave Makes Me Really, Really Angry
26th May 2011
Audio - 00:59
Why Lady Gaga Should Shut It
26th May 2011
Audio - 00:48
The Government’s Promise To Our Boys
26th May 2011
Audio - 00:43
Obama, Bush, Boris And Al Fugger Speak
16th May 2011
Audio - 01:30
Superinjuncted Public Figure ‘XMC’ Talks To The Eye
16th May 2011
Audio - 00:52
William Rees-McGonagall’s New Poem – An Eye Exclusive!
16th May 2011
Audio - 01:32
Saluting The Cream Of British Journalism...
14th April 2011
Audio - 00:44
Celeb You've Never Heard Of Hits Out
14th April 2011
Audio - 00:38
The Alternative Vote Made Simple...
14th April 2011
Audio - 01:18
There's Nothing Wrong With Being Monitored...
14th April 2011
Audio - 01:07
The Best In Middle Of The Road Music
14th April 2011
Audio - 00:37
Exclusive To All Papers!
14th April 2011
Audio - 01:03
From Our Man In The Toyota Pick-up...
14th April 2011
Audio - 01:03
Sir Herbert Gussett On Britain's African Legacy
14th April 2011
Audio - 02:02
Careers Advice From The Deputy Head, Mr Clegg
14th April 2011
Audio - 01:02
Money Lovers’ Guide With Tony & Cherie
31st March 2011
Audio - 00:44
Dave Spart Marches Against The Cuts
31st March 2011
Audio - 01:21
Taking A Nap With Kenneth Clarke
31st March 2011
Audio - 01:13
Sir Herbert Gussett Takes Tea At Fortnum’s
31st March 2011
Audio - 01:22
Coalition Vows To ‘Carry On For Ever’
31st March 2011
Audio - 01:01
Those Miserable Scandinavian Detectives In Full…
31st March 2011
Audio - 01:27
Dave Finds A Use For The Lib Dems
31st March 2011
Audio - 00:28
Stop Hounding William Hague…
17th March 2011
Audio - 00:46
May Cause Dreariness…
17th March 2011
Audio - 00:39
Let’s Invade Libya
17th March 2011
Audio - 00:34
Royal Wedding Coverage Latest
17th March 2011
Audio - 01:06
Possible Outbreaks Of Anti-semitism…
17th March 2011
Audio - 00:28
Live From The Count…
17th March 2011
Audio - 00:44
Tweedledum Snubs Tweedledee
17th March 2011
Audio - 01:24
Should Stephen Fry Be Grounded?
17th March 2011
Audio - 00:37
Gaddafi’s Message To Mr Blair
4th March 2011
Audio - 01:37
First Night Review
4th March 2011
Audio - 01:20
Ballyshambles South
4th March 2011
Audio - 00:39
Shock New Health Warning
4th March 2011
Audio - 01:01
Real Questions, Real Answers, Real Stupid
4th March 2011
Audio - 00:52
The Big Debate With Mr Clegg, Deputy Head
4th March 2011
Audio - 01:02
Real Comments, Real Commentators, Real Balls
4th March 2011
Audio - 01:04
A Note To University Applicants From Mr Clegg, Deputy Head
18th February 2011
Audio - 00:56
Cameron Calls For Integration
18th February 2011
Audio - 00:30
Contacting Your GP
18th February 2011
Audio - 00:30
Sir Herbert Gussett Writes...
18th February 2011
Audio - 01:41
Real Questions, Real Answers, Really Dumb
18th February 2011
Audio - 00:49
Radio 3 Presents...
18th February 2011
Audio - 00:50
MPs' Expenses
14th December 2009
Video - 02:21
Dumb Britain
14th December 2009
Video - 02:50
Gordon Brown, Supreme Leader
14th December 2009
Video - 02:39
Baptism, Marriage & Funeral Service
14th December 2009
Video - 03:00
Me And My Spoon: Kate Winslet
14th December 2009
Video - 01:57
Nigella's Christmas Turkey
14th December 2009
Video - 03:41
Pinter's Christmas Carols
14th December 2009
Video - 03:39
Dave's Eton Voting Song
14th December 2009
Video - 03:00
Footie Would Have Been Proud
2nd November 2009
Video - 06:46
The Shortlist Citations
2nd November 2009
Video - 07:59
And The Winner Is...
2nd November 2009
Video - 03:36
Private Eye At The National
1st December 2008
Video - 00:34
Beat The Credit Crunch
1st December 2008
Video - 01:48
Boris And The Bankers
1st December 2008
Video - 01:40
Prime Ministerial Decree
1st December 2008
Video - 03:05
Dumb Britain I
1st December 2008
Video - 03:06
Colemanballs
1st December 2008
Video - 03:04
The Ballad Of Speaker Martin
1st December 2008
Video - 04:08
Today On Radio Phwoar!
1st December 2008
Video - 01:53
Olympics Letters To The Editor
1st December 2008
Video - 05:50
Dumb Britain II
1st December 2008
Video - 03:20
Harold Pinter's Nursery Rhymes
1st December 2008
Video - 03:28
The Book Of Ehud
1st December 2008
Video - 02:55
The Red Flag
1st December 2008
Video - 02:50
Also Available Online
More From This Issue
Private Eye Issue 1370
private eye Only In The Magazine

Lady Macbeth Cleared On All Charges… 24-Hour Rolling Paedo News… Putting the Hate Into Caliphate: A Message From Your New Caliph… ‘Great Summer of War’ Gets Underway… That Sensational Text From David Cameron to Rebekah Brooks… Theatre News: ‘12 Stupid People’ Courtroom Drama Finally Closes… My Favourite Monty Python Sketch, as told to Craig Brown

And also...

- What Rebekah Did: Six-page special report by the Eye’s man in court, Adam Macqueen
- Extra Dry Sharia: The Law Society’s fight against discrimination is… discriminatory
- PLUS: Extra cartoons, Summer Gnomemart & more – still only £1.50!
For all these stories you can buy the magazine or subscribe here and get delivery direct to your home every fortnight.
Next issue on sale: 22nd July 2014.

Private Eye Issue 1369
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