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Private Eye Issue 1402
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What you won’t see on the Jeremy Kyle show… Exclusive! Sepp Blatter ‘Spot the Bail’ Competition… Herbie Lies Again: VW Beetle Tells Untruths about his Emissions… Me and My Spoon, with Dame Zaha Hadid… Refugee Crisis: EU ‘To Decide on Agreed Course of Inaction’… Brian Sewell Reviews The Pearly Gates… Donald Trump’s tweets, as told to Craig Brown

And also...

- Dacre v Dave: Editor’s rabid attack on the PM leaves Mail executives aghast
- Lords veto: Why DUP leader Peter Robinson won’t be getting a peerage just yet
- PLUS: Slicker on Lord Ashcroft’s tax exile
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Private Eye Issue 1401